Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
