Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
