Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
