If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
