Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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