Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.

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(419): View more from Ohio

her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me

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(316): View more from Kansas

I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That's how you know you deserve to be a senior

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(913): View more from Kansas

come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3

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