Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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