Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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