I like to think it a success when the cops are called
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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