we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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