it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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