She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
