Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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