Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We need to get me chipped asap
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
