Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
