my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
