so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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