So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
