Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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