woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm both gender and math confused
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
