Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
