I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Farmville is her only friend.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My feet surprised me
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