Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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