ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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