My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
