all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
