I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
