This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
