where does the pee come out of this thing
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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