i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
