Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
