Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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