I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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