I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize