Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
