Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
