At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
