K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
