Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Never joke about your clitoris.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
