i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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