Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
