so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
