i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
