She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize