i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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