she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
