so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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