i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
