if only i could text you this smell
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
