okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
