this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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