3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's never too late to be topless.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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