Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we're making bets on your personal life
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
