whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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