really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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