just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
