I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
