on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Enjoy the penises
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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