I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
