fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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