I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
