tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
