Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
