Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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