wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
