We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
