My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
why is half of my head shaved?
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