What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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