He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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