All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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