don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
