Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
