I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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